The Little Carpenter goes into work in the morning. His work starts slow. But as he works on, he gets a rhytym and a groove. He slows down for lunch, but then he gets back to work, working fast, and finally finishing his day with a flourish! After the work is done, he packs up and walks out the door, closing it with the flair of an artisan.
Maybe it is because bacon is just so delicious, or maybe it is because Jim Gaffigan tells so many hilarious jokes about bacon, but when the news came out that “eating bacon is as bad as smoking,” I needed to find a way to deal with this painful information. You know the old blues singers sang their songs for survival. And in the same way, I needed an artistic outlet to deal with this devastating blow. I needed a song to help me “survive after bacon.” So here it is, the Goodbye Bacon Blues.
With apologies to all my pig farming and hog farming friends, I wrote this song, a blues song about bacon.
Today I read the news.
They say that bacon is bad for you.
For effect, it’s like a cigarette.
If you eat a lot, you’ll be full of regret
Goodbye bacon, (I’m) gonna miss you
(I’ve) got the goodbye bacon blues.
These hot dogs are processed food
Eat gobs and your stomach is screwed.
Deli slice, sausage take your pick.
These funky munchies are carcinogenic
Goodbye bacon, I’m going to miss you
Got the goodbye bacon blues.
My name is Joe Blow
And I’m a baconoholic.
“Hi Joe.” “Hey, Joe.” “How ya doing, Joe?”
I got this problem, this daily problem, eating bacon.
I just can’t cover it. I just can’t do it alone.
“It’s okay. We got you.” “We got your back.”
Thank you all. I really need your help.
Because you know just I got
The serious case of these
Goodbye bacon blues
(I’ve) been nuts for bacon all my days.
The people have heard me sing its praise.
I know that bacon’s not plutonium
But pigging it daily is kind of dumb
Goodbye bacon, I’m going to miss you
Got the goodbye bacon blues.
If you want to learn more about health and bacon, please read “Goodbye Bacon?” at BeeOasis.com.
This is one of my favorite Elvis songs. . .
Every day, everyday I have the blues
Every day, everyday I have the blues
When you see me worry baby,
It’s you I hate to lose.
Nobody loves me. Nobody seems to care.
Nobody loves me. Nobody seems to care.
Got bad luck and trouble baby
You know I’ve had my share.
(I’m gonna) pack my suitcase, move on down the line.
(I’m gonna) pack my suitcase, move on down the line.
There ain’t nobody worrying, ain’t nobody crying.
Every day, every day, every day, every day.
Every day, every day, every day, every day.
Every day, every day, I have the blues.
Ukulele Solo
(I’m gonna) pack my suitcase, move on down the line.
(I’m gonna) pack my suitcase, move on down the line.
There ain’t nobody worrying. They sure don’t give a dime.
Nobody loves me. Nobody seems to care.
Nobody listens to me. Nobody seems to care.
Got bad luck and trouble baby
You know I’ve had my share.
Every day, everyday I have the blues
Every day, everyday I have the blues
When you see me worry baby
When you see me crying baby
When you see me dying baby
Every day, everyday, I got the blues.